"Could it be that I had been burning needless brain cells over something inconsequential? The answer to that is a resounding YES!... Fanhood to Manhood is a great first-person telling of how easy it can be to prioritize the things that are important in your life and rest assured, sports outcomes should not be one of them." - Amazon Reviewer

"Due to my own team affiliations (mostly, Saints and Broncos), I know what it’s like to have weeks, months, and even years 'ruined' because of a bad call or poor performance... Sports can be fun, but they should never get in the way of activities that promote our own flourishing... it’s time to put down the pom-poms and start living like a true, flourishing, human." - Amazon Reviewer

Chapter 10: The Purge

I need you to get your team garbage away from your person and out of your sight ASAP.

Disentangling the team’s identity from your identity begins with changing the clothes on your back, the stickers on your car, even the background on your phone.

If you’re like I was, burning it on the spot isn’t an option – too much emotion (and money – that crap was expensive) invested to just trash it.

So baby steps are fine. But we need all those reminders of your past addiction away from you now.

This can be tough. The memories and the (fabricated) sense of belonging make the sports fan’s addiction intimate. But if I could do it, you can do it.

After the drummer boy incident, I put all of my Vols crap in a box and relegated it to the garage. The shirts, the hats, even the paraphernalia: the limited-edition tailgate party cast iron ’39 Ford complete with Smokey dog mascot, cooler, and grille, the Neyland Stadium replica, the game day cup with dozens of tickets from all the games I’d wasted my time and money on, complete with the ’98 Florida game victory (a victory that had absolutely nothing to do with me) end zone grass at the bottom.

All of it, in a box, straight to the garage.

I didn’t actually get rid of anything until months later. Most of it I eventually gave to nephews, though I should have sent it to the dump – you don’t see recovering crackheads donating their old pipes to family members. But whatever you choose to do with your team trinkets, we need them out of sight, out of mind, now.

Further, I hereby declare your gaudy, overpriced officially licensed team clothing part of a cheerleading uniform, and wearing it the same as wearing a pink cheerleading skirt.  Pretending along with the rest of a society that a cartwheel just ain’t a cartwheel unless everyone can see your bloomers, short skirts are the quintessential element of cheerleading attire. Intentionally effeminate and flirtatious, my wife was a cheerleader, and I love to see her in a skirt.

However, I do not aspire to be a cheerleader, and neither do you. Shaking pom-poms is the opposite of the fanhood fantasy, but much closer to the truth. So to make it as real and repulsive as possible, team gear = pink skirt.

Your $100 Red Wings jersey, beat-up Duke cap with the hologram sticker, Seahawks sweatshirt your cousin gave you for Christmas – regardless of the costs or connections, putting on anything and everything team-branded immediately causes a pink cheerleading skirt to appear around your waist. Neither the success of the franchise, nor the price of the item, nor the story behind it diminishes this fact. Team gear = pink skirt.

Just as Fat Albert couldn’t keep wearing his “I’m Hard to Kidnap” t-shirt and expect to grow a six pack, you can’t keep wearing your old team gear and expect to beat fanhood. You have to change your outward appearance before you can change your inner self.

So in a box. To the garage (or back of a closet). Now.

Media Praise

"How do you know if your fandom has become unhealthy? [Tommy Knoxville] says your social interactions will tell the story. Maybe you've missed a kid's birthday party to watch a big game, or tuned out a child who is trying to talk to you during a game broadcast, or check scores during a wedding. For those serious about curbing a sports addiction, [Knoxville] suggests a cut-and-paste approach.

If you set aside your fandom for a time, why not coach a youth sport or take up a new hobby yourself? For [Knoxville], it was boxing and coaching his kids' soccer teams. It helped [Knoxville] to think of fandom as glorified cheerleading.

Mentally, he equated his former Vol Mania with putting on a skirt and shaking pompoms. It was like aversion therapy.
While he has attended a couple of Vol games in recent years, [Knoxville] said he maintains a healthy emotional detachment from events on the field.

'Today, I spend football season doing my own thing," he said, "not worried the least about athletic strangers on Neyland Drive. My best to them, just not my concern.'"" - Mark Kennedy, Chattanooga Times Free Press